"Don't forget to leave the stool sample on your manager's desk for the drug test before you leave today." (Veteran employee to new employee) True story. I was the new employee. No, I didn't fall for it, but did find it hilarious.
Quotes I made up, quotes you made up, overheard, saw on a bumper sticker, or whatever. Put your contributions in a comment or an email, and I'll post them.
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